


i saw mommy kissing santa claus

by iamnotbrianmay



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Christmas Party, F/F, Girls in Love, Mentions of Sex, Sexy Santa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:35:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28301712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamnotbrianmay/pseuds/iamnotbrianmay
Summary: Joanna knows what the guitarist is trying to do; namely riling her up until she gets to her breaking point and she has to shove her into a bathroom and eat her out until her legs are shaking. Joanna is determined not to fall into her trap. Even if it’s hard considering that she had gone for probably the most mouth-watering outfit she could find.
Relationships: Jim Hutton/Freddie Mercury (Background), John Deacon/Brian May
Comments: 3
Kudos: 15
Collections: The Clog Factory Happy Holidays Fic Exchange





	i saw mommy kissing santa claus

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Mother_Mercury](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mother_Mercury/gifts).



> This is my gift for the wonderful MJ! I hope you like what I have for you, I now truly want to see Brianna in the outfit I described below, and I know that you as a fellow Brianna May Stan will appreciate. 
> 
> I hope you have a wonderful time this holidays! Love you <3

**Circa 1987.**

Brianna hates Christmas music with a burning passion, just like she hates everything that is not hard rock or contains a good enough guitar solo or drums. Which is why Joanna is not even a little bit surprised when Brianna starts playing _Physical Graffity_ as she cooks their Christmas breakfast. 

The scent of blueberry pancakes and hot chocolate quickly spreads through the house, making Joanna drool and leave her task of last-minute gift wrapping in favour of spending time with her fiance (and stealing a bite or two while she is at it. Brianna smiles when she hears her walk into the kitchen and turns to her bassist, “Are they all done?” 

Joanna swoons at the image, her wild curly hair is (barely) held back by a bandana, her eyes are twinkling and giving her a smile could light up the world. It is all tied together by the smear of pancake batter right below her eye and the fact that her hair is flecked with some too. Joan steps forward and uses her thumb to clean the batter from her fiance’s face, “How do you always manage to make a mess out of cooking?”

“It’s my speciality, don’t you know?” 

Joanna giggles, “Well, I know now.”

The guitarist leans forward and kisses the tip of Joanna’s nose, “It’s almost ready, Jo. Give me a few minutes more.” 

“Take all the time you need sweetheart, I’m not done with the gifts yet.” Joanna cups her face and brings her down for a real kiss, “Why do I need to wrap so many gifts anyway?” 

It’s not often than the brunette lets herself be mischievous. Still, when she does, it’s usually at the expense of Joanna. Her eyes twinkle in delight, and she smirks, “Santa is coming to town, baby.” 

Joanna blinks twice, “Now you’re being weird. I deserve to know, don’t you think?” 

“But it would ruin the surprise for you! It’s taken me a long time to get this all together, I wouldn’t want to ruin the fun.”

She throws up both hand in surrender, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I won’t ask again.”

“Thank you, sweetheart. Now go finish while I finish our breakfast.” 

Joanna spends the rest of the day trying to figure out what her girlfriend has in mind. But Brianna has become surprisingly good and lying and hiding things ever since they became famous. It should be worrying, but at the moment it’s just annoying. Joanna used to be able to figure out everything that Brianna had done so easily. Now she can’t even find traces of what her girlfriend has been planning apart from the fact that she made her wrap up all of the tiny trinkets that they had gotten for the guests at Freddie’s Christmas party. 

Brianna takes pity on her after a while and gives her a little sneak peek of what will happen. She takes out a cutesy Santa Hat and candy cane earrings which Joanna later finds out that her girlfriend had crafted herself, “They are real candy canes.” 

Joanna bites the inside of her cheek to keep herself from pouncing onto Brianna. It is in moments like this that she finds her unbearably cute, “Oh, I see, are you going to be Santa?” 

“I am.”

“I can’t wait to see you with a potbelly then. I bet you’d look very hot.” 

“Is your belly kink making a comeback?” 

Joanna glares at her, “I thought we had agreed to a no kink-shaming policy.” 

Brianna laughs and kisses her, “I’m not kink-shaming. I’m just asking.” 

“Okay, whatever, just get ready for the party.” She grumbles and walks away, leaving Brianna laughing in their bedroom, still holding the Santa Hat and homemade Christmas earrings. 

  
  


Brianna has been getting on Joanna’s nerves ever since they got to the party. Well, Brianna is always on Joanna’s nerves, but she has gotten on her nerves more than usual. She knows what the Guitarist is trying to do; namely riling her up until she gets to her breaking point and she has to shove her into a bathroom and eat her out until her legs are shaking. Joanna is determined not to fall into her trap. Even if it’s hard considering that she had gone for probably the most mouth-watering outfit she could find. 

Joanna was doing fine, or she had been until her fiance walked into the room dressed in the skimpiest rendition of a Mother Christmas costume she has ever seen. Her hat is peaking cutely out of her curls, her make up done perfectly, candy cane earrings hanging from her ears and Joanna’s Christmas present from last year (a delicate gold chain and star-shaped locket) hanging around her neck. The dress is long-sleeved but off-shoulder, and it hugs her shape nicely then falls into a fluffy skirt that barely reaches mid-thigh and leaves precisely nothing to the imagination as she twirls. Joanna has to look away to avoid drooling in front of the guests to Freddie’s Christmas party, but she seems sufficiently star-struck for everyone else to notice and snicker about. 

Freddie wraps his arm around her waist and pulls her close, “Close your mouth, love. Brianna might notice her plan has worked.” 

Jim snickers, “Let her be, she just short-circuited.” 

“I do have to say if I wasn’t as gay as a daffodil I would try to go after your girl.” 

“Shut up, both of you, I’m trying to—” when words fail her she flails her hands around, which makes both men burst out laughing. 

She turns her head back to where her fiance is giving out gifts from the bag she had prepared beforehand. She had warned Joanna about the little stunt that she would pull, but she had never expected her to dress like this. She had expected something comical, maybe even grandma like, not something straight out of Joanna’s wet dreams. 

“Oh dear, I think you lost your bassist, Fred.” 

Joanna ran a hand down her face, “I think you did.” 

She watches as Roger walks over, grabs Brianna’s hand, and tipsily twirls her around. She laughs and leans into him to avoid toppling over. Roger wraps his arms around her waist and Joanna bristles, “ _Hey!_ Hands off!” 

She blushes once everyone’s eyes are on her, Freddie and Jim burst out laughing, and everyone follows suit. Brianna gives Roger one of her brilliant smiles and slips out of his grip. She walks up to bassist, swinging her hips more than she has too, and smiling at Joanna sultrily. She sits down on her lap, wrapping an arm around her neck, “Jealousy doesn’t look good on you, love.” 

Joanna holds on to her fiance’s hips tightly, “Yeah well, it’s not my fault I’m jealous, is it? You look—” 

Brianna softens, letting her sexy facade drop, “Really? I was a bit nervous you wouldn’t like it. I feel a bit silly in this.” 

Joanna smiles up at her, “You don’t have to be nervous, I love it. You look gorgeous.” 

Brianna smirks and raises her eyebrows, “Just gorgeous?” 

Joanna scoffs, “Okay, you ruined the moment. I was trying to make you feel better.” 

The guitarist leans down and kisses Joanna, probably leaving red lipstick smeared all over her mouth. It’s only then that Joan realises that she had even gone the extra mile and used some of the gingerbread perfume that Joanna had bought as a joke. She groans into the kiss, “You’re going to be the death of me, you know that, right?” 

“I know.” Brianna giggles, and presses another kiss to her lips, “Let me finish handing out the gifts and then I’ll come back to keep you company.” 

Joanna pats her butt as she stands up, which makes Brianna blush for the first time since she had come out of the bathroom where she had gotten changed. The bassist leans back into the couch, crosses her legs and watches as her girlfriend walks around the room handing out presents to all of their friends. Her concentration is only broken when Freddie clears his throat beside her, “You know you can’t leave until after midnight, right? We still have the big gifts to unwrap and give out.” 

She wrinkles her nose in annoyance, Christmas used to be a much shorter affair when all they had to their name was ten pounds at best. They would eat canned beans and stale bread, give each other tiny trinkets and be asleep by eleven. She had never thought that there would come a day when she would much rather have that than a large a cosy Christmas with actually good food and decent presents. 

Freddie rolls his eyes, “Come off it, you know you love it. You’re just salty, you can jump her bones sooner.” 

She sulks even more at being called out, crossing her arms and deciding to keep looking at her soon to be wife rather than paying attention to Freddie. Joanna’s heart rate picks up every time that Brianna leans forward, letting them see the top of her stockings and the red garter. She has never been more eager for Christmas to end. 

Brianna manages to make it all the way around the room only getting kissed once, by Elton. If it wasn’t him Joanna might have had their head on a stick by the end of the night, but she knows that the singer is harmless. Finally, she walks over to where Freddie and Jim are seated and gives them one of her lovely smiles, “Thank you for taking care of my demon. She can be quite jealous when she wants to be.” 

“Oh, it was no trouble, darling. She was far too smitten with you to care about anything else.” 

“Well, I still have a gift for your troubles,” She sticks her hand into the bag and takes out the largest present that they had wrapped, “it’s also a thank you gift for being such great hosts.” 

Freddie giggles and presses a kiss to her forehead, “You’re the cutest, Brimi.” 

“Hey! What about me? I chose the gifts too.” 

“Bah,” Freddie waves Joanna off, “I’m sure you did absolutely none of the Christmas shopping. You wouldn’t be able to give a good gift if your life depended on it.” 

Joanna grumbles something under her breath and turns to watch as Freddie takes out the gift. She surprisingly does recognise it, Brianna had bought it when they had last been in Japan, “I’ve been saving it for you. I thought about giving it you at your birthday but then I decided it would be much better as a small Christmas gift.” 

Joanna can’t help but smile at Freddie’s expression as he examines the cat statue, “Oh, darling, this is perfect, thank you so very much.” 

Brianna gives him a hug, and kisses his cheek, “Merry Christmas, Fred.” 

“Merry Christmas, Maggie dear.” 

She talks for a few minutes with them, and then it’s Joanna’s turn to get her fiance’s full attention. The guitarist climbs onto her lap once again and presses herself as close as possible to her girlfriend, “I knew it was going to be a great idea to do this.” 

“You did wow everyone. Even me. Now I can’t wait to get home.” 

“Oh yeah?” 

“Definitely, I can’t wait to get you out of this. Or maybe I should keep this on you, you look absurdly hot in it.” 

Brianna blushes a deep red and presses a kiss to her fiance’s cheek, then another to the tip of her nose, and finally kisses her lips, “I’m glad I still have it in me at forty-one.” 

“Baby, you will look stunning regardless of how old you are, I can tell you that.” 

Brianna smiles, “To you maybe, after all, you’ve been my girlfriend since forever.” 

“Oh no, It’s not because of that, it’s because you are stunning Brianna May. And,” She leans close enough so that nobody can hear when she says, “I can’t wait to fuck you stupid tonight.” 

Brianna laughs, and shifts in her lap, “Don’t say things like that. We still have an entire dinner to get through.” 

They do, but Joanna is sure that she can convince her wife to sneak into the bathroom with her before the night is over. Brianna, after all, planned this outfit for that exact purpose.


End file.
